HOW BEING A FEMINIST CHANGED MY SEXUALITY -Testimony N°1 – France

∼I am a 25 year-old French student who was raised in a partial/non-existent religious education. In my family both my father and my mother shared the division of household labor equally.  My mother earns more money than my father, and has for a long time. I grew up in Province in a middle-class family. I am heterosexual.

I do not know if I would call myself a feminist, but I believe firmly that we are all equal and I refuse that the standards of « the strong man  » dictate my sexuality, or my life in general. I do not see why a woman cannot do the same things as a man, whether it is in her personal or professional life. I do not know if that feeling changed my sexuality, but as I grew up, I realized that certain situations shocked me. I think that my expectations changed as a whole.

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When I was younger, even though people in my direct influence placed no importance or sanctity to princess stories, these stories still formed some of my expectations. I thought I would find THE right person with whom it would « be wonderful” with. But reality is quite different, which is not necessarily a badthing.

I was lucky to have “unselfish partners” but I did not dare say what I wanted. Not because I thought that we were not equal, but rather because female pleasure is sometimes taboo and I did not know how to express my pleasure and I did not know what I wanted. I would like mindsets to change about female pleasure, for them to become something less taboo, and for male pleasure to not be associated with masochism and being the « stronger sex ». I would like my children to feel free to experiment.

<<One day my mother and I were talking about this subject, she told me how important it is to know yourself. That knowing yourself is a part of the pleasure you get from various people. I think she is right>>.

Testimony collected by the team of eLLes – anonymous – 18 July 2018 – FRANCE.

Photos : Abderraham Ejebli  – Translation : Fran Vauleon and Juliette Blasor – Editor : Emma Onekekou – Creative Editor : Céline Vauléon 

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